Sad

In my job, I come across terrible neglect and abuse cases. Sometimes on a daily basis. The girls that come into my care, usually come with a huge stack of intake papers that tell snapshots of their story. None of their stories are pretty. Some of them make me sick. On Monday, we got a new little girl with the worst story I have read..

People often talk of being pro life, which I am passionate about, but it seems that the discussion ends there. You see a picture of  a fetus, proving it is a real baby and is deserving of life, but in my opinion, just giving a child life is not enough. If someone is going to give their child life, what gives someone the right to ruin that child's life before they even take their very first breath? Why don't we ever see pictures of the children, and later the adults, they grow up to be?

Tell me, do these children ask for their mother to drink alcohol and do cocaine during her pregnancy, so that their physical growth and looks are stunted forever? Absolutely not. Does a child ask to be fed rat poisoning in her bottle as a baby, which did not kill them, but was just enough to kill many of their brain cells? Did they ask to be mistreated by the men in their life, so that they are never able to enjoy the intimacy God designed to be in a marriage relationship? Does a child ask to be left alone in a playpen for days on end, so that now they have trouble accepting care from those that truly want to give it? The answer to every one of those questions is no. And it makes me feel sad that these mother's dictate the future their child will have, because these mother's chose to make selfish choices.

Most of the time I read the paperwork once, so that I know what needs to be worked on, but I let it go at that. I treat these girls as I would any other girl, and make as much progress as I can while they are in my care. Thankfully, most of them have been in therapy for years before coming to me, and we are truly just working on a plan for their futures. Most of the girls that I see have been adopted by loving families who want the very best for them. But sometimes, every once in a while, I can't forget about what I have read. It keeps me awake at night and it makes my stomach hurt. And sometimes, I feel sad and just need to vent.

Snow Day

Coloring in new coloring books while watching the snow fall. Heading outside to catch snowflakes on our tongues. Making snow angels. Warm soup on the stove. A bubble bath with an entire bottle of bubbles. Footed pajamas. Cuddling on the couch to watch movies. Reading bedtime stories. Sleeping in daddy and mama's bed. Wait, we do that every night. Making memories that will last a lifetime. That is what we do on a snow day.

A Day In The Life Of A Children's Home House Mom

People are always curious when I tell them what we do for a living. They either think houseparenting sounds great and want to know where they can sign up, or they imagine us living on a compound, where life is anything but normal.

Being a house mom can be great and incredibly rewarding, but it can also be very tiring and emotionally draining. If anyone is considering doing serving in this minitry, because it does provide a way for mama's to stay home with their children and still receive a salary (plus all living expenses are paid), you cannot do it for that reason alone. The kids have an innate way of being able to tell if you truly care about them, and if they know you are there for the wrong reasons, they will make your life a living nightmare. Trust me. And even if they do know that you care, it can take a lot of work to break through the layers of stone that they have built up over the last fifteen years of their lives. That being said, we do not live on a compound and our life is very normal! We have a schedule, we laugh, we go to school and church. We eat out as a family, go to Wal Mart, the movies, and the mall. I admit that the big girls tend to get a bit silly whenever we venture out into public, but that doesn't stop us from going. I just make them walk fifteen steps behind. Maybe. So here you go. A glamorous day in the life of a children's home house mom.

4 am - Our internal alarm clocks go off, and we hold our breaths waiting for Kate to wake up, as we are still not used to her sleeping through the night!

6 am - The real alarm clock goes off, followed by Kate, and my sweet husband gets up four out of five days a week to handle the morning routine. I am spoiled and blessed! At this point, I roll over and go back to sleep, knowing that the house is in the hands of my capable husband.

6 am to 8 am - Boss gets all of the girls up and out the door. He makes sure that they take their medicine, their lunches are packed, that they are dressed appropriately, and that they have their homework. Again, I am so blessed. I usually wake up around 8 am in time to spend a few minutes with Boss and kiss him as he walks out the door.

8 am to 10 am - If there are no appointments, then Emma, Kate and I usually stay in our jammies during this time. We have a silly tradition of getting dish cloths to place over the girls laps, so they can sit on the couch and watch cartoons while they eat their cereal. It is so cute to watch Kate get her cloth and head to the couch every morning. I will miss this time when they start school!

10 am to 2 pm - On Mondays and Wednesdays we have no plans, so we stay at home and play or color, or we use that time to run errands. Tuesday is our busy day, as I have a staff meeting, we go to ballet, and then we stop at McDonald's for Happy Meals and play time. On Thursday mornings, Emma's friend Carly comes to play and then I have a staff luncheon, and on Fridays we are part of a playgroup with mama's and kids from our church.

2 pm - I am always home by 2 pm, so that I can get the house picked up and have snacks made for the big girls who arrive home from school at 2:45 pm.

3 pm to 5 pm - I put Kate down for her afternoon nap, and then we have snack time, study time, and there is usually some sort of drama that needs to be worked through. I also use this time to prepare dinner, and we usually eat around 5:30 pm.

6 pm to 8 pm - After dinner we have chore time, and then we usually play a game or watch TV. During basketball and volleyball season, we go to the games at Boss' school.

8 pm to 9 pm - The big girls get their showers and then head to their rooms. Our family spends some quality time together, before Kate goes to bed at 9 pm.

I am a night owl and usually use that time to unwind, blog, fill out paperwork, or read. I usually head to bed around 11 pm.

So, there you have it! We are just like any other family. Our days are long and full, but we are most definitely blessed, and for the time being, I would want life no other way.

Assaying Value

Imagine a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening it deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out all of it, of course!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is Time. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost whatever you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

TO REALIZE THE VALUE OF:

*One year - ask a student who failed a grade.

*One month - ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

*One week - ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

*One minute - ask a person who missed a train.

*One millisecond - ask the person who won an Olympic silver medal.

Value every moment you have, and count it a gift from God. Treasure it by sharing it with someone special - especially your spouse and children. Remember that time waits for no one. Yesterady is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Psalm 90:12

Via "House to House/Heart to Heart."

It's About Time

Yesterday, my baby girl turned twenty months old. That is not particularly significant, except for the fact that she has obtained a new skill that I just had to share. After twenty months of life, Kate has finally started sleeping through the night! I am recording this, so that when Kate is a mama herself and is complaining about how her children will not sleep, I can show her this post about what she put us through for nearly two, very long years!

Emma slept through the night at seven weeks old. I thought I had the sleeping thing down pat. Then came Kate. The first two months were long, as she woke every two hours for feedings. But that's normal, right? No big deal. But then three months passed, then four, and not only was she waking up at two am to eat, she was waking up to play, for a good two to three hours. And then she would crash at five am, right when the rest of the world was waking up. Around the time she was five months old, Kate and I started sleeping at my parents house. My mom and I loaded up on how to make your baby sleep through the night books, and we set out on a mission to conquer Kate's sleeping habits. Boss slept with Emma and the house kids at our house. We could never let Kate cry it out there, because the older kids had to wake early each morning for school. We started the plan where we lessened her feedings and would go in to soothe her, but not get her up out of her crib. After about three weeks, we had her sleeping until four am. A complete six hours every night. But all the charts in the books seemed to stop there! What about the mama's who like to sleep, oh, say eight hours a night? Or ten, or even twelve (okay, so I'm dreaming with twelve)? But no matter what we tried, Kate woke every morning at four am and would not go back to sleep.

This is how we have lived for the past year. Somehow, we have managed to get through it, loving relationships and sanity still in tact. Then, magically, last month things started to change. Kate slept in until six am. We were awake at four am, holding our breaths, but she has consistently slept from nine pm until six am for the past month! It is incredible. We are new people. Life is good! The trick has been monitoring her naps and not letting them run too long, and she is also done teething, so that might have something to do with it. So tired mama's, take heart. Stressful times do pass. Seasons change and babies grow up. Little girls play so hard all day, that they eventually sleep hard all night. And then the former tired mama decides she wants to do it all over again.