Sunday, January 1, 2012

Living Well

I love the start of a new year. I love the thought of a clean slate. A fresh year with no mistakes in it. I love that hope and possibilities and dreams seem endless. But that's me. I am a dreamer. I view life through rose colored glasses. Sometimes I love this about myself. Sometimes being a dreamer makes it hard to face reality. And the reality of my life is that I have been going through the motions for far too long. My head in the clouds, my mind on my dreams. Most often thinking, planning, organizing. Too much time spent on these things. Not enough time spent living. At least not living well. Not the kind of living that ends each day with a contented sigh. A sense of fullness in my heart. A sense of closeness with my Savior. Assurance that I am walking in his will. Instead, most days, I feel a bit out of control. As if life is passing me by and I am hanging on for dear life. Desperately desiring to walk closer with my Creator, but being too lazy to do anything about it. It is far easier to hang on for dear life and then complain about the direction this life is headed, then to actually take the reigns in your hands, or better yet, give the reigns over to God completely. That sounds terrifying and exhilarating all at the very same time. Going through the motions is more safe. It's easy. It's somewhat like riding the carousel at the amusement park. You just keep spinning in a circle, headed no where. You don't even need a seat belt. Not very exciting, but much safer than the roller coasters! And I hate roller coasters (honestly, I have never been on one in my almost thirty years). But I do know that I am tired of the carousel. I am tired of going through the motions. We are each only given one life, and I desire more than ever to live mine well. The lyrics to the song below, by Matthew West, penetrated the deep places of my heart when I heard them. They have become my mantra for 2012. No more going through the motions. It's time to start living.

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions