Wednesday, November 21, 2012

So Very Thankful

Dear Sweet, Beautiful Baby,

Our house is quiet tonight, your daddy and your siblings having already gone to bed. So I sit here alone, with you, Christmas lights twinkling through the outside window. I know that you are awake, too, because I can feel you tap dancing inside of me. According to the world wide web, it is much too soon for me to be feeling your movements, but I have been feeling you move now for weeks. I like to think it is my own special little gift from God after my miscarriage last winter. When I feel your little taps, I know you are alive and well, and that makes my heart so very full.

We are 15 weeks along now on our journey, you and I. For awhile I did not let myself get excited about you. I loved you, certainly, but it felt like too much to ask for, too much to hope for, that I might one day get to hold you in my arms. But then weeks passed, and more weeks passed, and I kind of feel now like we were meant to be, you and I. So now I hope, I plan, and I dream. I can't wait to know who you are, who you will become. I can't wait to watch your daddy lay eyes on you for the very first time as tears roll down his cheeks (your daddy is a crier in delivery rooms). And my heart longs for the moment when all FOUR of my children are finally together. Feeling blessed doesn't begin to describe it.

But for now? For now, we wait. We talk about you, we pray for you, and this year, especially, we are most thankful for your precious life.

Love, Mama