time marches on

Y'all. It's been too long.

Moving was hard. Settling in was even harder. But I can honestly come to this space now, nearly four months later, and tell you that life is good. So, so good. We still miss our Ohio friends and family something fierce and those rolling hills will always hold a piece of our hearts, but Kansas is now home. And I LOVE that our family of friends is expanding and there is not much cooler than looking at a map and seeing all of the different dots that represent people and places that we love. I never in a million years dreamed that Wichita would be one of our dots, but God did and I fully believe that he has been preparing us for this time and place for years.

Our family just returned from a life changing experience, also known as Tulsa Workshop. Never in my entire life have I ever seen so many Christians gathered in one place. The singing.... there are not words to describe it, except to say that I felt a tiny thrill at the thought of what it will perhaps sound like when we all finally gather in heaven before the throne of God. It was amazing. And the speakers were inspiring, encouraging us to count the cost that is following Christ, but reminding us that there is no greater calling than to live our lives for him. But my favorite part? My most favorite part was walking amongst all of the booths representing different organizations from around the world that are committed to furthering the message and the love of Christ. Carpenter Place had a booth set up and Boss did a fabulous job of sharing his passion for what he does with others. There were also booths for disaster relief, and baby houses in Africa, and Adventures in Missions, and really, too many passions and callings were represented to name them all. There is nothing I love more than people who are following Christ, and within those bounds, following their own passions and dreams. It's beautiful to me, and it reaffirms that we are all here with different strengths and different callings, but for one purpose: to point to him in all we do. It was a great weekend and one that will be filling my soul in the weeks to come.

This coming Wednesday we will pack up our crew once more and head to Ohio for CCFSA's annual children's home conference. To say I am thrilled that Mid Western Children's Home is hosting the conference this year would be an understatement. I often want to pinch myself to make sure that this new life we are living is real. But it feels good and it feels right and I am excited to see what God has in store for our family in the months to come.

Did you know that our oldest son turned four last week? Oh yes, he did. Sometimes, when I am tired, I think about what life would be like if we had stopped having children after the girls. Can I admit this? There would be no more diapers and no more bottles. And no one would need help buckling their seat belt and we would all sleep blissfully through the night. Sicknesses would not hang around our home as long, with fewer people to pass the germs too, and sometimes Satan tries to convince my tired self that this big family idea is a crazy one. But then God gently reminds me that children were his idea in the first place, and if we had never had the boys then there would be less laughter in our home and far fewer kisses. I would not have a little gentleman who loves to open doors for 'his girls' and who dances with me in the kitchen when one of my favorite songs comes on. There would not be superheroes flying around my living room at any given hour of the day and I would never step on Lego's or Matchbox cars. Without my sons, life would be less loud and joyful and full, and I am forever thankful that four years ago God saw fit to make me a boy mama for the first time.

What else? Boss is working long hours, but when you are following your heart it never really feels much like work. The girls are happy. They are in ice skating and Kate is playing soccer for the YMCA (that's a cool story in and of itself that I will have to share sometime, reminding me once more that God is in the details). Luke has finally started crawling and it's pretty stinking adorable. Always needing to do things in his own way and in his own time, Luke has his own little way of getting around. He crawls with both of his hands and his left knee, but he drags his right leg along like a little gimp. He is the best and I often times find myself wanting to smooch him all over. I still dream of more babies filling our home, but only God knows how our baby story will wind up, and for the first time in a long time I can honestly say that I am content with letting him write our story however he sees fit. (As if he needed me to say that. Ha.)

So that's what we have been up to.... in a nutshell. Sometimes our days are full, sometimes they are slow. Sometimes we do school, sometimes we don't and opt for real life learning over the workbooks. Sometimes we are positive and hopeful, and sometimes we are weary and tired. But we are always trusting that God has a plan and that he is worthy to hold the pen in the writing of our family story. Thank you, as always, for sharing in our lives.

settling in

So. We moved.

We actually did it. Two months ago our family pulled away from our beloved Ohio hills and we now call the great plains of Kansas home. It has been an adventure, for sure. This jumping and trusting that God will catch you is not for the faint of heart. Tears have been shed, loneliness endured, and a general stretching has been felt by each person in our family. The first week we were here, I would rise early each morning with a pounding heart. The darkness would surround and I would wonder what in the world we had just done. What were we thinking to leave our family, our community, our safety net behind? But deep breaths and long talks with Boss helped to ease the pain and the fear deep within. And prayer. Prayer sustained me those dark mornings and I wondered once more where people who do not know God find comfort. Because amidst all of the change, my relationship with God and my family are my forever constants.

But other things (namely ice cream, ahem) helped, too. In a place totally new I can still hang a familiar picture on a wall and feel at home. I can walk into a church building, sit on pews and sing songs and read scripture that I know, and feel at home. I can still go to Target, order a tall Chai tea with soy, and browse the isles and feel at home. Because (in our family) home is more of a feeling within. Home is traditions, and comfort foods, and discussions with those that you love, more than it will ever be a particular place. This I am learning.

So that is what these past two months have been. A slowing down, an embracing of our more quiet days, a strengthening of our dependence on God and each other. And as we are slowly beginning to leave the moving fog behind, I can honestly see that though the process has been hard, it has also been good. And I am still confident that being right here in the center of the United States, has put our family directly in the center of God's will for our lives in this particular season.

You should know that Boss is perhaps the happiest I have ever seen him. He is more energized, more full of life, and more excited about how he now spends his days than ever before. It's amazing how dreams realized can inspire a person towards greatness! Sometimes we pinch ourselves to make sure we are not still dreaming, and then we smile because we remember that this new life is our real life. And we thank God for the blessings. The children have made some new friends and are hopeful for more to come. Each new week brings more smiles and fewer tears. Every Tuesday afternoon the three big kids lace up ice skates and head to the rink for lessons. We figured a bold new move required being bold and trying our hand at a brand new skill! I am so proud of how my children, despite their sadness at saying goodbye to the old, are embracing the new and are discovering more of who God has created them to be in the process.

I count my children as one of my greatest blessings in this life and I am most thankful for the closeness and the amount of time we have spent together as of late. Our lives were good in Ohio, but they were busy. And sometimes, amidst the crazy busy of all things good, it is so easy to lose sight of what matters most. But our new, quiet days are bringing us back to the very best, and that is time spent together. I am sure as the months pass and our lives and connections here begin to expand, the busy will creep back in, but for now I am thanking God for this current quiet season we are in.

As for me? I am enjoying lazy mornings with a warm blanket curled around and a big mug of coffee in hand. Having no place to go most days has done wonders for the stress the last decade of being a grown up had brought into my life, and I am enjoying my mornings with my children like never before. I am loving taking the time to stare at my tiny baby who is growing bigger. We practice standing, and crawling, and we laugh and clap hands. Clapping is a new favorite. My little guy has finally gotten his first tooth, and I am trying to relish it all.... the daily small things that so often go unnoticed in the busyness of a full life. We still do school around the table each day, and there is more time for explaining long division and reading aloud. I must confess that I have felt burn out on the teaching front, but as of this last week, we seem to have found our groove once more.

The move has been hard, but it has also been good. A clean slate, if you will. A chance to slow down, regroup, and press on towards those things that are most important. I just wanted to let you all know that we are still here and all is well. We are settling in to this new life we are living and we thank God daily for directing our steps.

the story of kansas

(Image found HERE)

So. Have you heard? Our family is moving to Kansas.

Oh, goodness gracious. Kansas! Three weeks from today, our family of six will pack up this darling duplex and head west to a state that never before existed to me outside of the Wizard of Oz (one of my girlies favorites, thanks to their Grandma).

I wish we could go to a cute corner coffee shop, grab a cup of chai tea, and I could share with you all of the incredible ways God has made himself known in this move. For sure and for certain, I've never known His presence more than I have in these past several weeks. It's a crazy peace that I have, despite the sadness of saying goodbye to our home and our family who will remain in these Ohio hills. But the way that I see it.... is that sometimes you just have to jump. In order to make room for God to work, in order to chase a crazy dream, in order to be obedient to God's call, sometimes you just have to jump and trust that He will catch you on the way down. So, we're jumping.

The crazy dream began nearly a decade ago.

 Boss and I were newly married, our oldest was then a one year old baby, and we were already tired of climbing this worlds never ending ladder. We were tired of the long hours spent on things that held no meaning, tired of spending our days, hours, minutes on gaining possessions we are promised will pass away. We longed for purpose. So, we flew to Albuquerque, New Mexico and there we found what we were looking for. We flew to Albuquerque to become house parents, to live with children who were not our own. Children who had been handed a rough lot in life and who needed the love and structure that only God's design of the family can fill. We served in Albuquerque for two years under the direction of a good man. A quiet leader with a sparkle in his eyes. Ivy Harper taught us what it meant to be selfless, to spend your days giving away the best that you had to offer to a hurting world. Ivy has passed on from this world now, but I wish that we had told him how his leadership greatly impacted our lives. How he shaped our vision for the future. I wish Ivy could know how he touched the life of my husband. From the very first time that Boss sat across from him in his home office, he knew that one day he wanted to lead like Ivy. And when he came to bed that night he told me as much. But we were young, and restless (and more than a little bit foolish), and after almost two years we moved on. We moved here, to our home in Ohio, where we have served with Mid Western Children's home for the past seven years. Mid Western is more 'home' to me than anywhere else on this earth, and our years here have been some of the best of our lives, I'm sure. But the dream of leading never left Boss' heart.

Fast forward to the middle of this past September, and a few crazy connections and one Christian Chronicle ad later and Boss had applied to be the CEO of Carpenter Place, a Christian children's home in Wichita, Kansas. Two days later they called for a phone Interview and two weeks after that we were heading down as a family to visit Carpenter Place in person. And all I can say is that God was there. We saw Him all over the campus, in the faces of the people that we met. And while our hearts literally broke at the thought of leaving 'home' and the life that we have built here, there is no denying that God was saying GO. So when they called to offer Boss the job, we said YES.

During his interview they asked Boss 'why Wichita'? And Boss answered, why Houston? Why Albuquerque? Why Pleasant Plain? Because we go where God calls. We try and follow His leading. We jump and trust that He will catch us on the way down.

That's the story of how Kansas came to be. That's the story of Boss' dream come true. And we are confident that right in the middle of the United States is right where God wants us to be.

So, we jump.

from our autumn days

made for more

It's that time of year again. The time of year where the Boss man heads back to work, big yellow buses begin to roll by, and children everywhere head back to the classroom. Unless you are one of my crew. And then you stay home.

When Boss and I first made the decision to home educate (over four years ago, now), we knew there would be things we would be asking our children to 'give up'. The special first day of school excitement, the holiday classroom parties, skipping with a best friend to the playground after lunch, and the general feeling of goodness that comes with being a part of something that is larger than yourself. And sometimes when I think about it for too long, even four years later, I still get sad that my children are not a part of those things. I worry we have scarred them in some way by keeping them from the traditional American way of life.

But then I am reminded.

Deep in my heart I am reminded that my children were made for more than this world. They were put here for a purpose, to embrace their calling as a Christ follower should they choose to give Him their lives, to fulfill the plans that God has for them. Plans that include knowing God more and more each day and pointing others to Him on their journey. My children were not put here to get caught up in all of the current cultural trends, to be swept along with the world as it spins madly around and around again. And for all that my children have had to 'give up', there is one thing that they have gotten to keep. Each other. Our family does life together. Every single day, all day. The good, the bad, and the ugly of it. And that is what I love most about this journey of home education. I love that we do it together.

I know there are those who do not believe home education is for them. And personally, I am good with that. We all have different stories, different heart stirrings, and I believe if we are committing our ways to the Father he will guide us in the direction we should go. But for us, homeschooling provides the hope that we can hang on to our children's fragile hearts. For us, homeschooling allows us the day in and day out opportunity to mold the little people God has blessed us with into men and women of big faith. Soon enough our children will fly the nest and our steadfast prayer is that they will fly stronger and more assuredly because of their years spent in our home.

This year our focus is books, books, books. We will squeeze core work in, too, but the majority of our time will be spent with our noses in the cover of a good book. I want my girls to read solid stories about ordinary people who turned their lives over to an extraordinary God. I want them to see that God has had a plan all along. For his creation, for the people that lived in Bible times, for the country that we live in today. And I want my daughters to be inspired, to know that God has a plan for them, too. We will read about Christopher Columbus and Anne Frank. George Washington and Helen Keller. We will see how God continually uses faithful people to fulfill His purposes time and again and really, is there a greater lesson that my children could ever learn? I don't think so, and I am excited to see where this year will take us.

I don't know where you are in the story of your own life, but I want to dare you to dream BIG. To hand the writing of your story over to the very Author who created you in the first place. It is our prayer and the focus of our family this school year. The constant handing over of the pen, and then handing it over once again. And who knows? The beautiful chapter that we (you) have been longing for might only be but a page away.

dear children

My Dear Children,

Today was a good day. A quiet Sunday. We worshipped God this morning and your dad did yard work. We picked up Subway for lunch and everyone was happy (minus Em. Subway is not her thing). After lunch you played outside with your friends. I am not sure what you played, but I am sure it involved frogs and Ninja Turtles. Maybe a little bike riding. Your dad spent his afternoon building a shelf for our new(ish) home here, while I nursed your baby brother and napped under my favorite patchwork quilt. Sunday afternoon naps are the best. Remember that. We had dinner with our friends and neighbors, and before we came in for the night daddy took us for a ride in the golf cart. All of us. Now that our family number comes to six, two of you must stand. It is usually you girls, but you never seem to mind. Tonight we rode as the sun began to set. The soft rays burst through the clouds and it was beautiful, so we stopped by the office to stare for awhile before moving on. We drove over the dam, around the lake, and up the lane. All around us were deer, and bunnies with white cotton ball tails, geese, and squirrels. We all liked the bunnies the best. As we drove home along the road the fireflies began to dance and I noted in my heart what a charmed life I lead. It was just an average Sunday, but it was our day. Another day in the story of this life that we are living together. And I just wanted you to know that today's page held beauty and contentment. I am so very grateful to be your mother. I have dreamed many big dreams in this life and not all of them have come true. But this dream, the dream of our family, it has come true and my heart is so full when I think of your dad and of you four, my dear children. I love you. I always will.

Mama

Life Lately

Life has been busy in our little world. The good kind of busy. The busy that involves the daily doings of raising four children, sharing conversation and community with friends that we cherish, and really just celebrating life. All the many parts of it.

Somewhere in the span of the calendar pages turning, Boss and I celebrated ten years of marriage. A decade of love. To be honest, the night we had set aside to celebrate together did not go as planned. Luke was two weeks old at the time, we were tired, and we both said things that we should not have said. But at the end of the day, there is still no one else on earth that I would rather be sharing my days with. Both the good days and the bad ones. For me, Boss is it. And I thank God that he feels the same way about me. We ended our anniversary with I'm sorry and I love you. And I looked into the eyes of the man that I love and I prayed for many decades more.

Two weeks after our anniversary, this little fella turned one month old.

Luke is such a sweet little love. He reminds me most of his biggest sister, as he is a content, quiet little guy. Unless he wants to eat. Then he makes sure you are aware of his hunger. For the first time ever I am committed to nursing, and I will say that I love seeing my tiny guy begin to fill out. Our bodies are awesome and this entire process of pregnancy, birth, and then nursing my infant for nourishment reminds me every single day that there is a God. The way he designed the creation and sustainment of life is nothing short of amazing to me.

What else?

Yesterday this sparkly eyed girl turned seven. Seven years old. Kate was our most challenging child during the first two years of her life, but she has grown up to be the most charming and delightful little girl! She is a wonderful daughter and the very best sister. I love her so much and I am blessed to be her mama.




























Jack is now potty trained. We started working on it the very same week that we brought Luke home from the hospital. You know. Because I had nothing else on my agenda. But I am so proud of my biggest boy! He may or may not have recently gotten in trouble for showing every single person that he meets his new underwear (which involves dropping his drawers for all the world to see), but in his defense, Batman is pretty cool.

And then there is Emma. She is such a help to me! The perfect oldest child to our crew. Lately she is maturing so much and growing up before my very eyes. I am thankful she is mine.

 So that is a glimpse into the life of our family lately. Our life that is good, and sweet, and exhausting, and challenging, and hard, and wonderful all wrapped up in one. And I am thankful for all of it. For every one of our days together.

Recently our church family lost a wonderful man. Boss and I often list the couples ahead of us in this life that we admire, that we want to grow to be like and to model our family life and marriage after. Only two couples ever make our list. This man and his wife are one of those two couples and my heart is so saddened over his passing. But I will tell you this. Knowing him and now watching his wife tread through these dark days so gracefully, most definitely makes me want to know God more deeply. Knowing them makes me want to live each day more fully. Together. As a family.

I know that the Lord is at work. All around us and in our family. And I am so very thankful for this life that I have been given and for the people that I am blessed to share it with.

childhood

 

One of my biggest failures in parenting has come in the form of screens. My children's small faces have been in front of them far too often. It was especially bad last year. Our old life on Fieldcrest Lane was quiet, mostly retired couples on our street, no other children to play with. So my children stayed inside. Sure, they played with each other, but when they grew tired of toys the screens came on. And I allowed it, even though my heart was against it.

But here? In this new space? Life is more as it should be. Spring has finally sprung in Ohio and my children are soaking up the first warm rays of sunshine that this year has had to offer. As soon as their school lessons are over for the day and their bellies are filled they hit the ground running, all three of them, the old lures of the screen forgotten. They ride bikes, play at the playground, and scavenge the campus with their friends for frogs. Yesterday they caught so many that my front yard looked as though a slimy green plague had come upon it. And at the end of the day, my children come home sweaty, stinky, smiling, freckles popping, and with cheeks rosy.

And it is exactly as this season of childhood should be.

Because one day my children will grow up. Perhaps, at some point in time, a prince will arrive for each of my daughters and the days of frog catching will be over.

But that day is not today. Thank goodness that day is not today.

my heart overflows

As I near the end of this pregnancy, I find that along with my body that is beginning to slow, so are my words. My thoughts are many, but my words are few. Gratitude for this simple life that I have been so blessed with is filling up all of the extra space that is not being filled up by my sweet new son.

My heart overflows.

You all know that we recently moved back home into staff housing (a darling little duplex) on the children's home campus where Boss works, where we previously served as houseparents for five years. Only now we live across the street from our old house where we used to live with our foster girls. And you want to know something? I used to sit across the street, in my old living room, and stare at this little duplex. Towards the end of my house parenting days I was a bit overwhelmed. My heart was torn in so very many directions. I loved both my family and our foster girls with all that I had, and I never felt like there was enough of me to go around. If I was being a good foster mom, I was not always being the mama that my own children needed. And if I was being a good mama to my three, I went to bed feeling as though I had not met the needs of the teenagers that day. I loved with most of my being, and finding balance was not my strong suit. So I stared at this little duplex. At the time, my friend (who is an exemplary mother) called the duplex home. And sometimes, if the blinds were left open, I would see her sitting on the couch chatting with her teenage daughter, sharing life together in the same way that I want to share life with my own daughters when they are teenagers. And I secretly told God that I wanted that. I wanted to be here in this place, on this campus which is our home, and I wanted a season to be just mama to my children. It was more of a wish, but I knew that God knew the longings of my heart. And today here I am.

God's blessings are not lost on me. He heard my heart longings and he provided. It was not on my timing, but it was in his. And it has turned out so much better than I ever could have imagined. Because today I sit here, full term with my second son. And Boss is asleep downstairs, our first son resting soundly next to him. And the girls are upstairs snug in their beds. The school room is almost put together, the crib has been assembled, our table is small, but with just enough space for our family of six. Tiny newborn clothes await a washing and my hospital bag sits by my bed. And it all feels like a dream, this blessed life that I am living.

There are hard days, for sure. Boss is running all over town, keeping Fieldcrest Lane market ready while continuously putting our home together here. Emotions are running high with all of the change that has taken place and with the anticipation of a new brother to be added to the bunch any day now. And there are still financial stresses. But mostly there is peace. Peace and gratitude. Because the baby will come when he is ready, and when we leave the hospital? We will bring him home. To this place. This place that I longed for, perhaps without really knowing that I longed for it, but God provided it for our little family anyway.

My heart overflows.

moving day

This post is linked to Welcome Home Wednesdays on Raising Arrows.


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Today we are moving, so it really is Welcome Home Wednesday for our family.

We are moving to our new nest (a darling duplex that is part of staff housing where Boss works). We are moving out to where the corn grows tall. We are moving to where life comes a bit slower and things feel a bit more plain and simple. We are moving to where the lake glistens bright and the geese honk loud. We are moving to where children can run free. We are moving so that I can stay home and pursue the role of full time home school mama to four. We are moving so that I can be a homemaker, a prayer I have prayed for a decade.

Today we are moving, so my words are few. Instead, I will let the words of others do the talking.

Happy Homemaking, Friends.



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farewell life on fieldcrest lane

Tonight is our last night on Fieldcrest Lane.



(Fieldcrest Lane in February. Isn't she lovely?)

Tomorrow our new adventure begins.


happiness

(my oldest daughter. she makes my heart happy.)

Today was happiness.

For the first time in who knows how long, the children and I had nothing on our agenda. Not one single thing. No school lessons, no work, no pressing responsibilities, no packing for our upcoming move. So I declared it happy day, a day for doing whatever we wanted. Not having an agenda is happiness.

For three hours this morning, all three children played together in the girls room. Nicely. There was only one crying spell, because Jack wanted to be Belle and his sisters would not let him. Hopefully having a new brother will one day cure Jack of his love for the Disney princesses. Children playing together nicely is happiness.

For three hours this morning, I sat on the couch with my feet up. I have not sat and done nothing during this entire pregnancy. My ankles look beautiful. Beautiful ankles at eight months pregnant is happiness. Come to think of it, simply having ankles at eight months pregnant is happiness.

After lunch, my parents came and picked up all three children for the afternoon. They do this every week, but usually I am working and do not get to enjoy the quiet. Today, the quiet was all mine. Happiness. So I did what I love most in this world. I took my large, pregnant self to the bookstore. I ordered my favorite drink, a White Chocolate Mocha with a splash of raspberry (today it was iced, as this baby is causing some serious hot flashes), walked through the aisles and breathed in the books (the smell of books is my favorite), and then claimed a large, overstuffed chair for myself. And there I sat for three more hours. For those wondering, that brings us to a total of six hours of sitting in one single day. It is quite possible I may never want to get up and productive again. Sitting for six hours is happiness.

While I sat, I read Mark Batterson's book Soul Print. Mark Batterson is currently rocking my world. He is not the most splendid writer on the planet, but his messages seem to be meeting me right where I am in my walk. Soul conviction is happiness.

Seven quotes from Soul Print that brought me a bit of happiness today:

When your life is over, the world will ask you only one question: Did you do what you were supposed to do? - Ziolkowski

In God's grand scheme, it's never about orchestrating the right circumstances. It's always about becoming the right person.

When you stop living for selfish purposes, the pressure comes off. And that's when your destiny comes into focus.

Until we experience death to self, we'll never come to life in the truest and fullest sense of the word.

If you want to find yourself, you've got to look for God.

Your real, new self.... will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him.  - C.S. Lewis

If you aren't careful, your God-given dream can become more important to you than the Dream Giver Himself.

Life is busy. It probably always will be. But every once in a while it feels nice to pick a day, clear the calendar, and focus on the things that bring our soul's deep and fulfilling happiness in this life. For me, that day was today.

For me, today was happiness.

follow Jesus

 

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I feel like our family is about to embark on a new journey. Sure, we are just moving back home, back to where the corn grows tall, but it is an opportunity for a fresh start. And I love a fresh start. Fresh starts allow me to reevaluate my life. To think on who I am, where I have been, and where I am going. This particular fresh start is allowing our family the opportunity to step back out of the quest for the American Dream. To focus once more on what is most important in life. And we have been reminded, once again, that what is most important in life is not keeping up with those around us. The most important thing we can ever do, both as individuals and as a family, is to follow Jesus. Daily. In all that we do. In every decision that we make.

I have been thinking long on these thoughts as I fold tiny clothes and pack up kitchen boxes. And as I have been reading his Word, he has been teaching me every step of the way. Teaching me what it really means to follow him.

Have you ever noticed that when Jesus called his disciples to follow him, they just up and left? Just like that? They didn't pack their over night bag, or pack up kitchen boxes. They didn't leave a twelve page to do list for those left behind. They didn't tell Jesus to give them just one more stinking minute, and then they would be free to follow. They didn't even ask Jesus where they were going. The Bible tells us that those whom Jesus called left everything behind to follow him. Immediately. No questions asked. No matter the cost. (Matthew 4:18-22)

And I wonder, what has following Christ cost me?

I thought on this last night, but couldn't come up with anything significant.

In high school, perhaps following Jesus cost me popularity. Maybe a few friendships. I didn't drink or smoke, and decided early on to save sex for marriage, so that often left me out of the party scene. But I wonder, did I not do those things because I was committed to Christ, or because I was afraid of the consequences? There is a difference.

As a houseparent for seven years, perhaps following Christ cost me a bit of personal comfort. There were a few children who came into our care that I did not care for. At all. I tried to find one good thing about every child we came into contact with, but on at least four different occasions during our time of ministry, I came up empty handed and wanted that particular child removed from my home. Because when it came right down to it, I didn't want to feel discomfort. I did not want to deal with the bathroom issues of a child who was acting out, and I did not want to sit up all night long with a raging child who was not my own. Actually, I don't want to sit up all night long with a raging child who is my own. So I had the child who was  hindering my comfort removed. I told myself that it was for the sake of my own children, and partly it was, but mostly I think it was for the sake of me. And I wonder now, what if I had tried loving that child as Jesus did? What if I had put following Jesus before my own personal comfort, and taught my children to do the same? Would that have made a difference? Maybe. Maybe not. But it couldn't have hurt.

I am thirty years old. I have been a 'follower' of Christ for most of my life.

And it hasn't cost me a thing.

Not really. Something is wrong with this picture. Something in my life needs changing. I cost Jesus everything. Following him, really following him, should certainly cost me something.

It is so easy to get caught up in the American Dream. I know, because it happens to me on a regular basis. The home with the white picket fence and the two car garage. The two cars that fill the garage. The two children (one boy, one girl, in case you were wondering) and all of the activities that accompany them. The vacations, the shopping and the spending, the eating out. The comfortable life. We don't want to have to give any of it up. Not even for Jesus. Because it's all that we know. We want to work Jesus into our already full lives, instead of working our lives around him. We have it all backwards. And I wonder what the world would be like if we were able to turn it all around?

I wonder what my life would be like if I were able to turn it all around? To start with Jesus first, then add everything else in after him. Or around him. Always keeping him front and center. Or what if I didn't add anything else in? What if Jesus was enough? What would a life of just Jesus cost me? Most importantly, is it a risk I am willing to take?

Along with our new nest, our new baby, and our new look in this space, I am desperately hoping for a new perspective.

Because just Jesus is sounding pretty good. And I desperately desire to follow him.

(Don't forget to enter your name in the giveaway I posted below!)

New Nest, New Baby, New Look

I can never pick a favorite season. I love something about them all, finding seasons to be one of God's most inspiring creations. Life would be dull if every day were the same, and it is the same with seasons. I find that just when my soul is ready for something new, change comes.

Change is coming for our family. A new nest needs to be built, a new baby is on his way. And I find it fitting that these changes are happening in spring, a season of new growth. I love that. It feels hopeful. Spring signifies that brighter days are on their way, and that is my prayer for our family as we transition.

This space needed changing, too. Soon, our story will no longer take place on Fieldcrest Lane, so we needed something new to go with our new nest and our new baby.

This is now the story of {our life} Plain & Simple.

It is the story of our family. It is the story of how we spend our days. It is the story of the things we love to love. I have always been a dreamer, and I hope that I always will be. Dreaming big is good for the soul. It makes me feel alive. But I also believe there is magic to be found in ordinary days. The magic of life is all around us, sometimes we just have to search a bit to find it. So I am determined to spend my days finding the magic, while I spend my years chasing big, crazy, extraordinary dreams. It is a balance I want to learn to walk well.

Thank you for coming to this space. Thank you for sharing in our story. Thank you for choosing to do life with us.

* The new look in our space is courtesy of Always in Bluhm Designs, Etsy shop found HERE and website found HERE. I met Theresa nearly ten years ago through mutual college friends and I got to know her a bit better after connecting with her on Facebook. She quit her job after the birth of her son and started up an amazing design business. Theresa has a creative spirit and a beautiful, artistic soul, and she is awesome at what she does. The girl has mad skills. If you are in the market for a new look for your space, check her out. You will be glad that you did.

Magic in Ordinary Moments

We have spent the weekend celebrating our three year old boy.

 I have driven my children crazy with all of the picture taking, but I believe that anything worth celebrating must be documented well! They will thank me one day. However, add some props and allow silly faces, and my children are suddenly on board. Amazing what adding a bit of bling will do to an attitude!

I have found that to be true in all of life. Binoculars and a walking stick turn a hike into an adventure. A blanket turns lunch into a picnic. Sparkly shoes turn an ordinary dress into a ballgown. And props turn plain pictures into a photo shoot.

Find the magic in the ordinary moments of life.

Then celebrate like crazy and document well!

Feathering a New Nest

(source)

Our family is moving. Again. I would say blech, but you don't say blech to an answered prayer. Instead, I will say thank you to the Giver of all good gifts. Because this move is a gift.

Our family is moving home.

Out to where the corn grows tall, over the railroad tracks, past the big red barn, one last bend in the road, and we will be home. Home where we lived prior to living on Fieldcrest Lane. Home where we were houseparents for five years. Home where Emma learned to ride her bike, and where Kate said her first words. Home to the place where we brought Jack after he was born. Home. Only this time, we will not be houseparents. This time, we will be moving into staff housing that has recently become available. Boss will remain principal of the school, and I will be mama to our four children. We don't have an exact move in date yet, but we hope to be settled in our new nest before baby number four joins us in the next several weeks.

For the most part, life on Fieldcrest Lane has been lovely. I will miss the rolling hills, the big trees. Our charming street, and the old tree swing out back. For one year, our family built a life here, and there are things that will be missed. But as lovely as it was, it was also hard. Because the most charming houses are often old houses, and for us that meant a leaking roof, ceiling damage, and a stubborn old heat pump that needed constant repair. And those things are never in the budget, are they? And because our family strives to live debt free, that meant draining our savings faster than one can blink. Boom. The bank account was nearing empty. So, mama went back to work.

When things began to get tight, a sweet friend generously offered to let me keep her darling daughters a few days each week. Because we homeschool, our children worked with me, and this small job was a tremendous blessing to our family this year. Honestly, we would not have survived without it, and we will always be grateful for friends who were willing to help us out in a season of need. But it was not the life plan that we left houseparenting for. We left our work there, so that I could focus on raising and homeschooling our children, and that did not happen quite as we would have liked for it to this year. So we had a choice to make.

Boss could look for a new job, he could have taken a second job in the evenings, I could have continued working, or we could move back to campus into the staff housing. It was not a hard choice to make. I love our house here on Fieldcrest Lane, but I love the lifestyle that we dream of for our family more. In our family, it is our priority to have Boss work, while I stay home and raise our children. It was our priority long before we ever had our children, and we will always strive to make this lifestyle work to the best of our ability. It is a tough thing to raise a family on one income, but people over possessions, I always say. I want to be with my children, more than I want to be able to give them the best of the very best. For us, family IS the best of the very best. It is not the choice that every family would make, and I respect that completely, but it is the choice for us.

So, our family is moving home.

And this mama has much work to do, to feather our new nest before baby number four arrives. As always, thank you for joining in our life's journey.

Sharing My Life

I married Boss right after my junior year of college and promptly dropped out of school. I remember arguing with my dad about that choice. He seemed disappointed. I cried on my bed just days before my wedding, wishing that people, my parents, the world would understand that college was not what I wanted for my life. I had (and still have) nothing against an education. I am very thankful that Boss has both of his degrees and a good job that supports our family. I just wanted something different for myself.

 I wanted only to be a mother.

Many asked what I planned on doing with my days once I left school. They wanted to know my plan. My dad wanted to know the very same thing. Not because he was controlling, simply because he was caring, though it took becoming a parent myself to understand the difference. A decade ago I was not sure what my future days would hold, but I was sure they would be good. And nine years in to my job as mother, I can assure you that my days are indeed very, very good.

Even though I am a mother of (soon to be) four children, yesterday I spent the day with just one. A rare treat. My daughters went to serve at Matthew 25 Ministries with Boss, so Jack and I had the day to ourselves.

Our day started with frozen waffles and blueberries. Minus the frozen part, it was the breakfast of champions.

With bellies full, we cuddled on the couch and watched cartoons, because there was no one there to tell us that we couldn't.

As we were snuggling Jack fell asleep, so I went with it. Back to bed, just the two of us. It was glorious. Jack slept, but I memorized. His soft hair, the suck suck of his mimink. His syrupy breath and his sticky fingers in mine. My son is perfection, and I drank him in. He may not be my baby for much longer, but he will always be my baby. You know? If you are a mother, then you know.

When he woke up, we hopped in the bathtub where my son pointed out every single flaw on my body that he could find. But I told him that some of those flaws were because of him. Love flaws, which makes them not really flaws at all. More like beautiful marks of motherhood. We played whale and duck and made soap bubbles, and when our toes turned wrinkly we got out.

And then I announced that it was time for an adventure, so off to the bookstore we went. What better place to lose ourselves than in the land of stories? We drank chocolate milk, and played with trains, and filled our minds with exciting tales about baseball and fast cars.

And I fell more in love with my son, as if that was even possible. Turns out it was.

When we were done adventuring we drove home. The rest of our family returned and life was just as it should be.

And that was my day.

I may not have made any money, and I may not have worn a trendy suit and heels, but the work I did was important. My day mattered, because my son matters, and there is nothing more rewarding than investing my days, and my time, and my life in him. In all of my children. So the world can think it strange to enjoy spending my days with small ones, and they can scoff at the mama who dropped out of school with only one year remaining, but I know in my heart that I am right where I should be. Sharing my life with the ones I love most.

Making Muffins




(Image found HERE)

A decade ago, food consumed me. It didn't consume the insides of me, I would never have allowed something like that back then, but it consumed my mind, and it consumed my heart, and it consumed my days. Eventually, intervention was needed, and my parents gave me the gift of sending me away to Arizona to find help. But I found more than help in Arizona. I also found healing. And now, a decade later, I can honestly say that food no longer consumes all of me. So many other things now consume my heart and my days.... my husband, my children, my love for God, friendships, homeschooling, adventures. But my mind? Food sometimes still has a hold there. Probably more of a hold than I would care to admit. And I know it really is not about the food (trust me... I know), but since I don't care to delve into my feelings further at this time, we will go with it being about the food.

Ironically, I no longer have a problem consuming food. Want to eat out? Perfect! But kitchens? And preparing food? Well, some problems remain. And unfortunately, this has greatly challenged my role as mother. Because Boss and the children need to eat! And there is something so beautiful about the family table. About loved ones gathering around and sharing a meal together. And it's just not the same if that meal is take out. So, in my recent efforts to master all things 'mother' (I have been finding inspiration in the form of my beautiful friend), I have been tentatively working my way back in to my kitchen. I want my children to remember Mama baking goodies, and chopping fruits and veggies, and even better, I want them to be in there doing it with me. We have not had enough kitchen togetherness in this family. And it's a shame, because we have a really cute kitchen!

 

And so, my efforts began. I started with a couple of hot breakfasts last week. Kate and I made those delicious muffins pictured above on Wednesday. Add some fresh blueberries and a glass of orange juice and I had three happy children! I also tried a couple of new recipes for supper (one found HERE), and Boss was a happy husband, too. And while I won't deny that it was not a struggle for me, I can absolutely say that this journey into the kitchen will be worth it. My children thanked me for the meals we ate this week more times than I could count! And so I gave myself a pat on the back and considered it a job well done. Or a start well done. Because I still have a long way to go. But every journey must start somewhere, and my kitchen journey started with a batch of warm muffins. And I know it really is not about the muffins. It's about the time spent together, and the memories, and the atmosphere, and the love of home. It's about consuming the beautiful things of life, hungering after all that is good, and letting go of the rest. One meal, one day at a time.

 

 

 

 

Snow Day

(LOVE my two boys!!)

(Jack LOVED the snow! For about 15 minutes..)



(Kate did great until her sled landed her at the base of a tree!)

(Who ever said DIVA'S do not like the great out of doors?!)

(Emma is my brave child! No hill is too steep, no sled fast enough!)

(LOVE those grins!)

Happy day two of the month of LOVE! And there is nothing my children
love more than a good snow day!

Apple Picking in Autumn

Fun Orchard We Visited With Friends

It Was Open!

My Cowboy

Pumpkins!

Cowboy Jack Captured A Pumpkin

Emma

Kate Works Hard

Jack Found Some Good Ones!

Claire Is In Charge Of The Bucket

My Beautiful Girl

Sweet Boy

My Other Beautiful Girl

Little Lila

Apple Gazing

More Pictures, Mama?

Big Jack and Little Jack

Three, My Favorite Number

Apple Barn

Country Tractor