Friday, March 22, 2013

follow Jesus

 
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I feel like our family is about to embark on a new journey. Sure, we are just moving back home, back to where the corn grows tall, but it is an opportunity for a fresh start. And I love a fresh start. Fresh starts allow me to reevaluate my life. To think on who I am, where I have been, and where I am going. This particular fresh start is allowing our family the opportunity to step back out of the quest for the American Dream. To focus once more on what is most important in life. And we have been reminded, once again, that what is most important in life is not keeping up with those around us. The most important thing we can ever do, both as individuals and as a family, is to follow Jesus. Daily. In all that we do. In every decision that we make.

I have been thinking long on these thoughts as I fold tiny clothes and pack up kitchen boxes. And as I have been reading his Word, he has been teaching me every step of the way. Teaching me what it really means to follow him.

Have you ever noticed that when Jesus called his disciples to follow him, they just up and left? Just like that? They didn't pack their over night bag, or pack up kitchen boxes. They didn't leave a twelve page to do list for those left behind. They didn't tell Jesus to give them just one more stinking minute, and then they would be free to follow. They didn't even ask Jesus where they were going. The Bible tells us that those whom Jesus called left everything behind to follow him. Immediately. No questions asked. No matter the cost. (Matthew 4:18-22)

And I wonder, what has following Christ cost me?

I thought on this last night, but couldn't come up with anything significant.

In high school, perhaps following Jesus cost me popularity. Maybe a few friendships. I didn't drink or smoke, and decided early on to save sex for marriage, so that often left me out of the party scene. But I wonder, did I not do those things because I was committed to Christ, or because I was afraid of the consequences? There is a difference.

As a houseparent for seven years, perhaps following Christ cost me a bit of personal comfort. There were a few children who came into our care that I did not care for. At all. I tried to find one good thing about every child we came into contact with, but on at least four different occasions during our time of ministry, I came up empty handed and wanted that particular child removed from my home. Because when it came right down to it, I didn't want to feel discomfort. I did not want to deal with the bathroom issues of a child who was acting out, and I did not want to sit up all night long with a raging child who was not my own. Actually, I don't want to sit up all night long with a raging child who is my own. So I had the child who was  hindering my comfort removed. I told myself that it was for the sake of my own children, and partly it was, but mostly I think it was for the sake of me. And I wonder now, what if I had tried loving that child as Jesus did? What if I had put following Jesus before my own personal comfort, and taught my children to do the same? Would that have made a difference? Maybe. Maybe not. But it couldn't have hurt.

I am thirty years old. I have been a 'follower' of Christ for most of my life.

And it hasn't cost me a thing.

Not really. Something is wrong with this picture. Something in my life needs changing. I cost Jesus everything. Following him, really following him, should certainly cost me something.

It is so easy to get caught up in the American Dream. I know, because it happens to me on a regular basis. The home with the white picket fence and the two car garage. The two cars that fill the garage. The two children (one boy, one girl, in case you were wondering) and all of the activities that accompany them. The vacations, the shopping and the spending, the eating out. The comfortable life. We don't want to have to give any of it up. Not even for Jesus. Because it's all that we know. We want to work Jesus into our already full lives, instead of working our lives around him. We have it all backwards. And I wonder what the world would be like if we were able to turn it all around?

I wonder what my life would be like if I were able to turn it all around? To start with Jesus first, then add everything else in after him. Or around him. Always keeping him front and center. Or what if I didn't add anything else in? What if Jesus was enough? What would a life of just Jesus cost me? Most importantly, is it a risk I am willing to take?

Along with our new nest, our new baby, and our new look in this space, I am desperately hoping for a new perspective.

Because just Jesus is sounding pretty good. And I desperately desire to follow him.

(Don't forget to enter your name in the giveaway I posted below!)

1 comment:

Brittnie said...

"We don't want to have to give any of it up. Not even for Jesus. Because it's all that we know. We want to work Jesus into our already full lives, instead of working our lives around him. We have it all backwards. And I wonder what the world would be like if we were able to turn it all around?". . .

Ive totally been thinking on this lately. I am really trying hard to not just fit Jesus into my already jammed packed day/plans, but instead START my day with Him and see what plans He lays out for me. Easier said than done but I am sure trying.

Love your heart, Kendra!!