Friday, April 18, 2008

A Fresh Start

It's official. Spring has finally come to Ohio. The sun is shining, the grass is turning glorious shades of green, flowers are beginning to bloom, and the lake is sparkling with rays of warm sunshine. I love it! Right about the time I fear the darkness of winter is going to last forever, the world warms up and everything gets a fresh start for another year of growth.

Isn't that the way it is in life? Some seasons are dark. Troubles come, tears fall, and disappointment seems to loom around every corner. And at the very moment we fear we cannot take any more, the sun peaks out from behind the clouds, and gives us rays of hope that everything is going to be okay again.

This time last year my sweet, my college educated, hard working husband and I were standing in line for food stamps. Boss was having a hard time finding work that paid well, we were having trouble paying our mortgage, and extras in life were out of the question. That day last April, I watched as tears of frustration and disappointment roll down my husband's face, and I was heartbroken. It seemed that no matter what we did, or how hard we worked, we could not get ahead. Slowly but surely, we started to believe that our dreams were disappearing out the window. For months I prayed that God would lead us out of that darkness and into the light.

And now, exactly one year later, my husband is working the job of his dreams. We live in a cozy h, and our dream of adoption is finally coming to fruition. The sun is shining and you can see our smiles from miles away.

Sometimes I still panic that one day we will find ourselves once more in the darkness that surrounded us last year. My palms sweat, my heart races, and I think, Please God, don't make us go through a season like that again. But then I wonder, would we appreciate the sunshine if we hadn't walked through the darkness? Would the sun be quite as warm, the grass as green, the flowers nearly as beautiful, or the lake as dazzling? I don't think so. I don't look forward to seasons of darkness, I don't know anyone who does, but I am beginning to trust that the Heavenly Father uses those times to draw us to Him. And then, when the time is right, He allows the sun to start shining again and we are ready for a fresh start and another year of growth.


A & D Grigsby said...

Hey Kendra!

I just love reading your blog and hearing about your beautiful girls and your life up there in Ohio! I'm so sorry about N's baby - I can't imagine how she must feel. Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us!
It sounds like you and Ben are wonderful and I am so glad!

Amy Grigsby

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Mob said...

Oh I love this post. I needed it today too. Yes, thank you for sharing your testimony on how God has brought you. The great thing is that He will never leave us.
P.S. delete that comment above mine. If you click on it you will get a virus.

Brady and Kristin said...

So grateful that His sonshine is shining on you! Love you!

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