Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sensitive Soul

My Emma is the most sensitive soul you will ever meet. When I look at both of my children, it amazes me how God uniquely crafted each of their personalities. They are complete opposites. While Emma stands off to the side of a group, just hoping and wishing that someone would ask her to join, her sister barrels her way into the crowd and makes herself a part of the fun. I love everything about the differences in my daughters, but lately my heart has been worrying about my biggest girl.

Emma is beautiful, smart, funny, silly, and creative. She rolled over at ten weeks, crawled at five months, walked at nine months, and was talking in sentences at a little over a year. She slept through the night at seven weeks (which is a huge thing in our house),, and is such a complete joy to parent. She did go through a biting stage, but it ended quickly, and whenever I tell her about it now, she can't believe she would have done something like that! For almost four years we have spent nearly every day together, and I wouldn't trade that for anything! However, my biggest girl is about to turn four, and with four has come emotional tantrums and excessive worrying.

Emma likes things to be just so, and lately, the smallest thing sets her on edge. She worries all the time over whether other kids will want to be her friend, or if they will laugh at her. If another adult corrects her, she cries and begs me not to make her go around that adult again. She is already worried about which souvenir to pick out of the shop on vacation, because what if the ones she does not pick feel left out, because they don't have someone who wants to buy them? She worries about Heaven. She worries that her daddy will not be there to carry her in. What BIG things for an almost four year old to be worried about.

I remember years of worry in my own life, mainly during junior high and high school, and I hate that Emma feels this way at such a young age. I am praying daily that God will give me wisdom in how to make her feel bold and confident. My heart squeezes when no one asks her to play, but I know that I can't fix everything for her. And I hate that.

But I know that God has plans for her little life that is really still just beginning. Because with her sensitivity, comes great compassion for all things. Emma does not care about race or if another kid looks differently than she does. She can find the good in everything and everyone. I pray daily that God will fill her heart with peace, strength, and a love for Him. I pray she will always remember who she belongs to, and that that knowledge will take away some of her fear. And I am thankful that even though she is about to spread her wings and fly off to preschool, that at the end of the day she will fly back home to me. My Emma is such a sweet, sensitive joy, and I am thankful that she is mine.


Mob said...

What a precious little girl. You are blessed. She will find her way in preschool and I'm sure she'll really love it.

A & D Grigsby said...

Oh Kendra...what a sweetheart! I know there's so much I have to learn in the next few years, but I can already imagine how hard it is to let go...even if it is just a little bit. I've already turned into quite a worrier! I'm due November 23rd, but my doctor doesn't expect me to make it to November, so I guess we're looking at October (later part hopefully). I just want to go back to the doctor every day to make sure they are both okay :)