Friday, February 22, 2013

Making Muffins

(Image found HERE)

A decade ago, food consumed me. It didn't consume the insides of me, I would never have allowed something like that back then, but it consumed my mind, and it consumed my heart, and it consumed my days. Eventually, intervention was needed, and my parents gave me the gift of sending me away to Arizona to find help. But I found more than help in Arizona. I also found healing. And now, a decade later, I can honestly say that food no longer consumes all of me. So many other things now consume my heart and my days.... my husband, my children, my love for God, friendships, homeschooling, adventures. But my mind? Food sometimes still has a hold there. Probably more of a hold than I would care to admit. And I know it really is not about the food (trust me... I know), but since I don't care to delve into my feelings further at this time, we will go with it being about the food.

Ironically, I no longer have a problem consuming food. Want to eat out? Perfect! But kitchens? And preparing food? Well, some problems remain. And unfortunately, this has greatly challenged my role as mother. Because Boss and the children need to eat! And there is something so beautiful about the family table. About loved ones gathering around and sharing a meal together. And it's just not the same if that meal is take out. So, in my recent efforts to master all things 'mother' (I have been finding inspiration in the form of my beautiful friend), I have been tentatively working my way back in to my kitchen. I want my children to remember Mama baking goodies, and chopping fruits and veggies, and even better, I want them to be in there doing it with me. We have not had enough kitchen togetherness in this family. And it's a shame, because we have a really cute kitchen!
And so, my efforts began. I started with a couple of hot breakfasts last week. Kate and I made those delicious muffins pictured above on Wednesday. Add some fresh blueberries and a glass of orange juice and I had three happy children! I also tried a couple of new recipes for supper (one found HERE), and Boss was a happy husband, too. And while I won't deny that it was not a struggle for me, I can absolutely say that this journey into the kitchen will be worth it. My children thanked me for the meals we ate this week more times than I could count! And so I gave myself a pat on the back and considered it a job well done. Or a start well done. Because I still have a long way to go. But every journey must start somewhere, and my kitchen journey started with a batch of warm muffins. And I know it really is not about the muffins. It's about the time spent together, and the memories, and the atmosphere, and the love of home. It's about consuming the beautiful things of life, hungering after all that is good, and letting go of the rest. One meal, one day at a time.

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