Wednesday, February 13, 2013

One Year Ago Today

(Photo by Heather Matthews Photography)
One year ago today, I was told the baby I carried inside of me had died.
One year ago today, my heart crumbled into a million tiny pieces.
One year ago today, the tears fell freely.
One year ago today, I had to let go of my dream.
One year ago today, Boss held my hand as we exited the hospital.
One year ago today, we told our other children that they would not be getting a new baby to love.
One year ago today, I hated the week of Valentine's Day.
One year ago today, I wanted to crawl into bed and not crawl out until my heart found healing.
One year ago today, I asked God to not let me walk through this miscarriage unchanged.
One year ago today, I asked God for new eyes to see his plan.
(I specifically asked him to give me a light for my darkened path.)
(Photo by Heather Matthews Photography)
Today, there is a new baby growing inside of me. A boy. Our Luke.
(His name means light.)
Today, my heart is so full it nearly bursts.
Today, tears still frequently fall, but they are tears of gratitude.
Today, our family is in the midst of a new dream.
Today, there were no hospitals. Only school, and lunch, and beautiful every day life.
Today, my children kiss my belly and tell little brother they love him.
Today, I am so thankful for my Valentines.
Today, I crawled out of bed with a smile, thanking God for the new day.
Today, I KNOW that my miscarriage changed me.
(Life has never been more precious).
Today, I see with new eyes. God is good. All the time.
(Photo by Heather Matthews Photography)
A Time for Everything
(Ecclesiastes Chapter Three)


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