Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Swirling Thoughts

Lately, my brain has been a jumbled mess of swirling thoughts. I feel restless inside. The weather here in our part of the state has been much warmer than is typical for this time of year, so perhaps I am suffering from an early spring fever? Yes, we will go with that. With the weather being so pleasant, I have been going for afternoon walks. Me, alone with my thoughts in the midst of creation. I find peace there, when I am walking with my Creator. Lately, I find the need to be constantly communicating with Him. Changes (more than one!)are soon coming for our little family, which I will share on these pages soon, and I need His help to make sense of it all. I have written much lately on simply going through the motions of life, as that is what I feel I have been doing for so long. But lately I feel as though I am slowly starting to come alive. It is a little bit scary, a lot exciting. Thoughts, hopes, plans, and dreams constantly swirl through my mind. I think much on the kind of person, wife, and mother I want to be. I think long on the kind of mark I want to leave on this world. I want to make a difference. I want my contributions to God's kingdom to matter. He has gifted and blessed me with so many things. I want to make Him proud. I like to think of my life as a story that God is writing. If my life were a story (and I LOVE stories), I would look at my childhood and growing up years as the introduction. The foundation was laid, the characters introduced. And these last eight years of marriage? The beautiful beginning chapters. There were good parts, and bad, but all of the chapters have had a resounding sweetness to them. I have lived simply, and fairly contentedly. Enjoying the seasons and chapters we were in. But now the seasons are about to change, and our family is soon to head in a new direction. We are beginning a new chapter. Change is in the air, and change is deep in my soul. But I feel as though it is going to be good. I have big plans, and bigger prayers. Thank goodness I serve a Big God! I am so excited to see what these new chapters will bring. Hopefully, through the good and the bad, they will show that I am a person, and that we are a family, who is slowly becoming alive to all that we were meant to be. As we delve into the next pages of our life's story, I will continue to share here. In my study the other day, I stumbled upon a verse I had never taken notice of before. "Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord." Psalm 102:18 This is exactly my heart's desire. That as I record my story here, and the story of our family, that we will leave a lasting story of a family who loved the Lord and served Him. That when we look back through these pages that we will see God's goodness, His wisdom in timing, and answered prayers. Yes, I am excited for our new chapters to begin. And I am always excited to see God's hand at work. May our lives glorify Him!