Monday, February 18, 2013

Last Leg of the Journey

Luke and I have begun the last leg of our journey together, where he rests under my heart and I hold him close within. And it's funny, because meeting him still seems so far away, but life has taught me that these days are fleeting. And I wonder, how do I store these days up in my soul? How do I memorize the feel of his kicks, the way my body feels heavy with child? I don't have the answers, but I try. For moments each day, I close my eyes and try to soak the blessing of pregnancy in. My miscarriage last year taught me that we don't always get to pick our own paths. Our days and seasons sometimes have a mind of their own, so we must savor the good ones.
Truly, I have nothing to complain about. Our boy is healthy (praise God they finally laid eyes on his four chamber heart after several attempts!) and strong, weighing in at around two pounds. And aside from tired feet (which Boss lovingly rubs each and every evening), aching hips, and bouts of Braxton Hicks contractions, I am feeling well each day, too. More relaxed than in my previous three pregnancies, more sure of my mama skills and what is to come.
I do feel the emotions building. There is just something about growing another soul that sends a woman's emotions swirling. There is so much that I dream about for our family, so much that needs to happen in the coming weeks before Luke enters our world, and I can't yet see what God is going to do. But I know that God is good. And I know that Luke's life is part of his perfect plan. And I know that he will knit all of the pieces perfectly together in his own time. So for now, we wait. And we thank God daily for the life growing within. And we do school, and we babysit cute children, and we teach Bible classes, and we keep going with life, knowing that soon, the days will slow down. Little by little, in the coming weeks our plate will empty, and then it will just be family, and home, and a new brother to love. And that is what keeps me going.

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