Monday, March 11, 2013

Miles Down Memory Lane


I have walked many miles down memory lane, rereading our family story here in this space.

In many ways, we have traveled far in the last six years that I have been writing. We have gone from babies, to toddlers, to young ladies. We have gone from two children, to four. Boss and I are nearing a decade of marriage together. Ten years of marriage to my best friend. We have moved three times, and taken new jobs. We have been involved in work that matters. The souls of our shoes are worn, but the walk has well been worth it.

In other ways, I know that we still have a long way to go. As a family, and as individuals. I look back and read of  things I was going to work on five years ago, many character traits and habits that needed attention and changing, and I realize that some of those things still need changing today. I still want to be a better wife, a better mama, a better keeper at home. I still want to know God more, to be a better steward of the gifts I have been given. Though many miles have been traveled, still many remain.

But two things have remained constant on this journey of my life.

My humanness, and God's faithfulness.

I see evidence of this on nearly every page that I have written. His hand on every part of my story. I can't see where I am going, God shows me the way. I tear things apart, God puts the pieces back together. I am broken, God is the healer. I sin, God forgives. I plead to be heard, God answers. Every. Single. Time. So much of the past, God has redeemed, but I was too busy to notice. It turns out, he was answering my pink blanket prayers all along.

In 2007, our family visited the welfare office. Boss has a college education, a Masters degree, and he has always worked, in some seasons, nearly 80 hours a week. But we did not have enough to make ends meet. We stood in that line, heads cast down, embarrassed at our plight. When we left, Boss
shed tears and tore up the paperwork. He said we would find another way. I looked at my daughters strapped into the backseat of our car, and I worried. But over the years, God has always provided. We have known seasons of plenty, and we have walked through seasons of want, but we have always had just enough. Exactly what we needed. A prayer was answered.

In 2008, we began desiring to grow our family. Things were much better financially, and we longed for a third child. We thought adoption was the path we should take. We pursued it for over a year, but every door was always closed. A year and a half later, and we learned that our first son was on his way. A prayer was answered.

In 2009, we learned that the school where Boss worked was out of funds. His dream job was going away. It was a blow to our hearts. Today, my husband is thriving as Principal of a new education program that was created after the demise of the school where he was first working. He loves his job. He finds purpose there. This job supports our family almost entirely, where the other job did not even come close. A prayer was answered.

In 2012, I miscarried our fourth child. A child I had longed for. My secret dream. Today, I am less than ten weeks away from meeting our second son. A prayer was answered.

All along, God has been answering.

I started this blog for my children. To record the story of our family. So that years later, when we look back at the pages here, we can see for certain that God worked great things in our lives. Mostly, I try to look forward, to keep pressing on towards the goal. But every once in a while, it is good to look back. To walk miles down memory lane.

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