Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Word on Home

(My Beloved Children, For Whom The Constant Striving is For)

My mind is full. Full of thoughts on life, who I want to be, how I want to be. Perhaps it is because I am growing a little person inside of me that causes my mind to think such long thoughts, to reevaluate my purposes and my days. A new life stirring an old life . Perhaps it is because God is doing a work in me, changing me. Perhaps it is a bit of both. Either way, the thinking is good.

I don't know all I am to be, but this I do know...

I am to be my husbands help meet.

I am to be my children's mother.

I am to be the keeper of our home.

Sometimes, because my head is full of big dreams, dreams that seem bigger than being a wife, mother, and homemaker, I lose sight of what is truly important. If I fail at being a wife, then I fail at everything. If I fail at the task of motherhood, then I fail at everything. If I fail at keeping our home, then I fail at everything. Not that I won't have moments or days of failure, for sure I will, but if my heart is not constantly striving in these three areas, then I am not fulfilling the responsibilities that God has set before me (Titus 2:5) and nothing else will matter.

I look around our home and I see good things. Things that warm my heart and make me happy.

I see....

* candles waiting to be lit each morning
* throw pillows and blankets waiting for a snuggle on the couch
* a table perfectly fit for our (soon to be) family of six
* a chalkboard where we write scripture, lessons, and love messages
* cupboards filled with food
* soft paint colors
* the old tree swing out the kitchen window
* a small kitty curled tightly into a ball on the back of the sofa
* a room filled with clothes, perfectly sized for the people that I love
* beds with warm blankets
* heaters in every room
* pictures on walls recording memories past

All things that are beautiful and good. 

But I also see areas that need work.

* too many screens (what would life be like without the pull of the screen? oh, the possibilities!)
* Bibles too often unopened
* meals that need more foresight and planning
* children who need training in character, self discipline, and household tasks
* a husband who needs more respect, more thanks, and more appreciation
* a mama who needs to work on laziness (for that truly is what it is), and who needs to get her head    out of the clouds (or away from the screen) and focus on the precious tasks at hand (the tasks that God himself has called me too)

I still believe that dreaming is a beautiful thing. My dreams just need to shift, to begin in my home before spilling outward. That is where I first must be seen, serving those that I love and am commanded to care for, before I can reach out to serve the world beyond. It seems so much smaller, so much simpler than the dreams that I was dreaming, but it seems right. And it is the place to which God has brought me. He has brought me back home.

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