Sharing My Life

I married Boss right after my junior year of college and promptly dropped out of school. I remember arguing with my dad about that choice. He seemed disappointed. I cried on my bed just days before my wedding, wishing that people, my parents, the world would understand that college was not what I wanted for my life. I had (and still have) nothing against an education. I am very thankful that Boss has both of his degrees and a good job that supports our family. I just wanted something different for myself.

 I wanted only to be a mother.

Many asked what I planned on doing with my days once I left school. They wanted to know my plan. My dad wanted to know the very same thing. Not because he was controlling, simply because he was caring, though it took becoming a parent myself to understand the difference. A decade ago I was not sure what my future days would hold, but I was sure they would be good. And nine years in to my job as mother, I can assure you that my days are indeed very, very good.

Even though I am a mother of (soon to be) four children, yesterday I spent the day with just one. A rare treat. My daughters went to serve at Matthew 25 Ministries with Boss, so Jack and I had the day to ourselves.

Our day started with frozen waffles and blueberries. Minus the frozen part, it was the breakfast of champions.

With bellies full, we cuddled on the couch and watched cartoons, because there was no one there to tell us that we couldn't.

As we were snuggling Jack fell asleep, so I went with it. Back to bed, just the two of us. It was glorious. Jack slept, but I memorized. His soft hair, the suck suck of his mimink. His syrupy breath and his sticky fingers in mine. My son is perfection, and I drank him in. He may not be my baby for much longer, but he will always be my baby. You know? If you are a mother, then you know.

When he woke up, we hopped in the bathtub where my son pointed out every single flaw on my body that he could find. But I told him that some of those flaws were because of him. Love flaws, which makes them not really flaws at all. More like beautiful marks of motherhood. We played whale and duck and made soap bubbles, and when our toes turned wrinkly we got out.

And then I announced that it was time for an adventure, so off to the bookstore we went. What better place to lose ourselves than in the land of stories? We drank chocolate milk, and played with trains, and filled our minds with exciting tales about baseball and fast cars.

And I fell more in love with my son, as if that was even possible. Turns out it was.

When we were done adventuring we drove home. The rest of our family returned and life was just as it should be.

And that was my day.

I may not have made any money, and I may not have worn a trendy suit and heels, but the work I did was important. My day mattered, because my son matters, and there is nothing more rewarding than investing my days, and my time, and my life in him. In all of my children. So the world can think it strange to enjoy spending my days with small ones, and they can scoff at the mama who dropped out of school with only one year remaining, but I know in my heart that I am right where I should be. Sharing my life with the ones I love most.